'Behind every great fortune is a crime'
Honoré de Balzac, 1799-1850
1994
'So you're going into the club then?’, Terry's voice was heavy with
annoyance and Maura closed her eyes in distress. She hated it when they
argued and she knew that they were about to have an argument of Olympic
class. This one had been brewing for days. She sighed, and mentally counted
to ten before answering him.
'1 have to, Terry. Roy can't cope with this on his own.'
Terry walked from the room and Maura watched him go. Her mind was racing
but with thoughts of the club in Dean Street, Soho. It hurt too much to
think about Terry, the man who was everything to her. She'd noticed the
expression on his face as he left. He had coldly looked her over like
she was nothing to him, nobody. All the disgust and disappointment he
felt were clear for her to see.
She felt broken by it, frightened, even as it angered her. But he had
known, always he had known, that if push came to shove and there was trouble,
she would have to sort out the clubs and other family businesses. And
that was exactly what they had now: serious trouble.
Her brother Roy did what he could, but he needed Maura's acumen, needed
her backing. All the boys did. Roy could cope with day-to-day things but
he had never been able to take the real aggravation. He either went over
the top or crumbled without assistance.
She pressed her hand to her mouth at the thought of what she was to do
later that day. She had thought the violent days were over, that everything
was settled and straight, that lines had been drawn. How wrong she had
been. Now on top of everything else she had Terry to contend with and
his old woman attitude really stuck in her craw. She glanced out of the
large picture window and watched the workmen outside as they cleared away.
Her mind registered the fact that they had tidied up after them, having
needed to get on to her drive to raise her drains. Automatically she checked
to make sure everything was as it should be. It was.
One of the men looked through the window at her and smiled. Maura ignored
him. She stood up and walked from the room, through the wide entrance
hall and into the kitchen. Terry was standing by the double doors that
looked on to the garden. It was their special place, somewhere they worked
together, had planted out together and liked to share in quiet moments.
It was a garden made for children, for a family, something Maura would
never know about now unless it was as a substitute mother, as she was
to Roy's daughter Carla and her son Joey. Maura was everything to them,
as they were to her.
Even her surviving brothers -three left now of the eight there had once
been-' looked to her for guidance and help. Roy especially needed her
more than any of them. He was supposed to be in charge of all the Ryan
family businesses these days: the above board ones like their property
development and construction interests, the loan company, street vending
and hostess clubs, and the less public side of things. The Ryans lent
money to punters to fund their mortgages, true, but they also financed
career criminals for a hefty share of the proceeds and provided goods
and services not generally offered by your average high street bank: high-performance
escape vehicles, weapons of all kinds, safe houses, new IDs. Though Terry
thought Maura was out of it all these days, in fact she was becoming more
closely involved than she had been in her 1980s heyday when she and her
eldest brother Michael had been the King and Queen of London crime.
Maura Ryan could still put the fear of God into even the bravest of men,
the most hardened criminals. Especially since she had walked away scot-free
from the biggest bullion robbery in history by cleverly brokering the
Ryans' carefully compiled dossier of information on corrupt top-level
policemen, bent politicians, and even a royal scandal to ensure the continued
safety of herself, Terry, and the Ryan family. But now Roy faced serious
trouble and it was frightening even to her. She had a bad feeling on her
about it an. This wasn't just another takeover bid by a few scruffs out
for the big time, this was serious aggravation, and the last thing she
needed was Terry on her back as well. Because as much as she loved him,
and Christ Himself knew she did more than anything or anyone else, she
could not let this go. Could not leave it in Roy's less than capable hands.
It could spell the end for them all.
Maura tried a different tack.
Walking up behind Terry, she slid her arms around his waist and hugged
him.
'Let's not argue over this, Terry, eh? You know I can't let this go.'
He shrugged her off, scowling. He always looked like a little boy when
he scowled, a spoiled little boy -which in some ways he was. As a policeman
he'd wielded power and influence and that changes a man. Going back to
civilian status had been a real wrench for Terry and he never let her
forget that. Even his voice was like a whining kid's as he answered her.
'I expected you to say that, Maura. It's always been the same, hasn't
it? Marvellous Maura Ryan, the villains' friend. One little thing goes
wrong and off you run to your real home, the place you truly belong: Soho.
With an the waifs and strays, the whores, the gamblers, the pieces of
shit you call your friends and family. ,
Maura stared at the back of his head. If he had thrown a bucket of iced
water over her she could not have felt more shocked than she did hearing
those words. They were uncalled for, nasty, petty. Her family was important
to her, he had always known that.
'How dare you?' she hissed. 'Who the fuck do you think you are?' He turned
around and she almost flinched, so great was the contempt on his handsome
face. He poked his thumb into his own chest as he said loudly: 'I'll tell
you who I am, shall I, Maura? I am ex-Detective Inspector Terry Petherick.
The man who gave up everything for you.’
Maura stepped back from him and, smiling gently, shook her head.
'You are off your chump if you think you can use that kind of crap against
me, boy. ' She saw the hurt in his eyes and laughed again, louder this
time. 'Just what exactly did you give up, eh, tell me that? You found
out that the real criminals, the major arseholes of the world, were actually
in your own profession -and even then you were quite happy for them to
lock me up for the duration, remember? It wasn't until you found out they
intended to shaft you too that you shifted sides and threw your lot in
with me.'
Terry looked into her face, saw his own hurt reflected there, and sighed.
'You gave up nothing, darlin',' she continued. 'You were on your way out
of the police force from the moment you went to your bosses with the files
my brother Geoff had kept. They didn't want people like you in their club.
You were too honest for them, my love. They'd rather deal with people
like me. At least then they know where they are.'
Terry knew that what she said was true; deep inside he had always known
it.
'All this crap about your career, giving up everything…well, I seem
to remember your marvellous career coming first on another occasion. You
chose work over me then, only I was pregnant that time, and it was me
who ended up losing everything, wasn't it?'
He turned from her once more, unable to look her in the face. She laughed
sarcastically.
'My brother is in shit so deep you wouldn't even want to know about it,
darlin'. You could not even comprehend what he is having to sort out.
Now I don't know about you and people like you but I will be there for
my brother, as I always have been, and he will always be there for me.
If you can't hack that, Terry, then you and me have been wasting our time
all these years.'
The phone began to ring then, a shrill insistent noise shattering the
dangerous tension between them.
'Better get that, hadn't you? Big Brother needs you,' Terry mocked.
She knew it was Roy, a panicking Roy, wondering why she had not got back
to him sooner rather than later. She stared Terry out until the ringing
stopped.
Looking at her watch, she said quietly, 'I'd better get a move on.' But
she didn't want to leave him like this.
'So you are going then?'
'I don't really have much choice, Terry, do I?'
'Everyone has a choice, Maura, whatever you might like to think.'
She looked into his handsome face. It still had the power to enthrall
her, make her want him all over again.
'Then I have made my choice, haven't I?'
She walked away, saying over her shoulder, 'And you'd know all about making
choices, wouldn't you, Terry? You've made a few yourself over the years.’
'I've never made a single choice I regretted, Maura.'
She smiled at him now, a genuine smile.
'That's because you can't get pregnant, Terry. That single biological
fact makes men immune from real choices, real decisions. Any decision
you ever made was wholly for you, never for anyone else.'
She walked out into the hall and heard his footsteps behind her. 'What
about Joey?'
She thought hard for a few seconds before remembering she was supposed
to pick up Carla's son from school for her today.
Terry grinned.
'Forgot him, didn't you? Back in godmother mode with a vengeance, I see.
,
She licked her lips before answering him.
'You're jealous, aren't you, Terry? You're scared out of your wits I might
find something to interest me more than you do. I've watched you over
the last couple of years -avoiding my brothers, pretending they don't
exist -and I've swallowed. Almost understand it. But I've never pretended
to be anything other than what I am. What I chose to be. You know what
Roy said once? He said I was more man than any real male he had ever met.
I think he was right. And now I'm too much of a man for you, Terry. But
then, I've always been too much of a woman, haven't I?'
She walked up the stairs, leaving him standing there unable to answer
her.
Ten minutes later she was changed from jeans and sweatshirt into a beautiful
suede suit and looked like a different person. Terry felt the pull of
her as she walked into the lounge and smiled at him.
'I'm sorry, Maura -sorry it had to be like this. ,
She shrugged.
'It had to happen sooner or later, Terry. Deep inside, we both knew that.
I love you with all my heart, but I have other commitments. Unlike you,
I can't drop them on a whim.'
'You don't want to, you mean...'
'I mean can't, Terry. You never listen to what you're being told, do you?
I have to sort this out. If I don't, people could be hurt. Seriously hurt.
,
'Hardly unusual in your line of business, is it?'
The phone began to ring again.
'You'd better answer it,' he sighed. 'I think we both know who it is.'
She nodded and picked up the phone.
'Listen, Roy, I'll be on my way soon, OK?'
She replaced the receiver and looked at the man she had loved for half
her life.
'So this is it then? Finitosberg? Goodbyesville?'
He didn't answer her. They stared at one another for long moments. No
other woman had ever affected him like Maura Ryan and no other woman ever
would, he knew that. Had always known it.
'I'll pick up Joey, OK?' he offered.
Maura nodded.
'Thank you for that anyway.’
He smiled.
'I'll take your Merc - Joey prefers the convertible. Loves the impression
it creates.'
She grinned.
'He's a Ryan all right. Only the best will do.'
Her words were not lost on Terry but he didn't bother to answer her. If
only she could see things from his point of view. See what she was doing
to herself and her family by keeping up their seedy clubs and their whores.
The lifestyle they lived bred danger and violence. That was the law of
the street. Even though he knew that this latest problem was something
that couldn't be left unattended, the fact she was still getting involved
against all his advice galled him. And the fact that he knew she was enjoying
it. That was what really got his back up. She was truly alive again for
the first time in years and it showed. He had never really been enough
for her and they both knew it.
After a few seconds he said, 'You'd better take my BMW. Mustn't keep Roy
waiting, eh?'
He was telling her he wasn't leaving her right this minute. They hadn't
broken up yet. She felt her heart lift as she realised it. If only he
could see that she needed to be involved with her family's business; it
was all she had ever known really and the second big love of her life.
It gave them the life they both enjoyed, the opportunity to do whatever
they wanted, and he had reaped the benefits as much as she had. Terry
reminded her of her mother sometimes. They both enjoyed their affluent
lifestyle but hated and despised the way the money for it was obtained.
Hypocrites, the pair of them.
But Maura smiled at him, because when they were alone and they touched,
everything else was forgotten. It would be all right. They could put this
behind them too. At least, she hoped so.
Maura wondered uneasily if this argument might just be the straw that
broke the camel's back. But if he was corning home then at least she could
try and talk to him again. Explain exactly what was going on. Surely he'd
understand then?
'I love you so much, Terry. ,
He didn't answer her. Instead he picked up her keys and walked out of
the house. She stood at the picture window and watched him get into her
car. The workmen were gone and she was glad. They had been there for the
best part of the morning and afternoon.
Terry opened her car door -it was never locked -and she watched his tall
frame bend as he got inside. As he placed the key in the ignition he smiled
at her and she was pleased. She really believed then that they would get
over this latest spat.
The explosion sent her hurtling back through the beautiful room she had
painstakingly created. Landing heavily on the sofa, her back screaming
with pain, the last thing Maura heard was the telephone ringing endlessly.
Then merciful oblivion.